Podcast

104: The Question Behind the Question

By John Certalic on May 12, 2021 4

We deepen our relationships when we consider what might be the question behind the question asked of us, and then address the deeper issue.

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 104.

One of the things I like about our podcast is the engagement I find with our listeners. It’s one of the benefits of listening to You Were Made for This that I spoke about in our very first episode back in late November of 2018. I’ll have a link to that episode, 001 Six Reasons to Listen to this Podcast, in the show notes for listeners who may have missed it.

I so enjoy getting your comments about our weekly episodes. Most are brief and encouraging, which I very much appreciate. And then every so often we’ll get a more lengthy response that challenges and stimulates my thinking. One such response from a listener came in recently that I found most interesting, and which is the basis of today’s show. It’s a concept that can help you transform your relationships into the best they can be. So keep listening. [Read more…] about 104: The Question Behind the Question

103: The Secret to Great Relationships

By John Certalic on May 5, 2021 1

The secret to great relationships is to give what you want to get. It’s your best chance to find joy in being the person God created you to be. Hello everyone and welcome to episode 103.

When I first started reading the Bible as a young adult I remember reading it out of a red-letter edition, you know, the kind where all the words Jesus said were printed in red. I must confess, I found this annoying. It was harder to read and seemed to interrupt the flow of things. And maybe it’s just me, but I found it easier to gloss over whatever was written in red.

Fast forward many decades, I have another one of those red-letter Bible. But it’s a lot different now. Several months ago I started reading through the Gospel of Matthew, but this time skimming over any words printed in black, and instead really focusing and meditating on all the words printed in red. All the direct words of Jesus. And I’m taking it slow this time. It’s just the opposite of what I used to do.

Even atheists quote this Bible verse

Not too long ago a verse in Matthew 7 I’ve read dozens of times stopped me in my tracks. It’s where Jesus said something that people have been quoting for nearly 2,000 years, even people who don’t believe in God. [Read more…] about 103: The Secret to Great Relationships

102: One Way to Find Joy in Our Relationships

By John Certalic on April 28, 2021 0

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 102. Today we're considering how to find joy in our relationships.

We call our podcast, as you know, You Were Made for This. I’ve talked before what the “this” is. It’s the joy found in Godly relationships. We are made for relationships filled with joy. What I’ve tried to do in each episode is to show we can either create joy in our relationships or how we can find the joy that’s already there.

Today’s episode is about the latter. Finding joy that’s already present.

I’m going to share examples of joy I found in what listeners have commented upon in recent episodes, along with a bit of joy I received from a simple email from a friend. It will hopefully give you ideas of how to find the joy that’s already there in your relationships, just waiting for you to find it. [Read more…] about 102: One Way to Find Joy in Our Relationships

101: Life-Giving Relationships

By John Certalic on April 21, 2021 0

In last week’s episode, Start Conversations With Remembering, I shared the start of a conversation I had with our executive producer, and Janet’s and my long-time friend, Carol Steward, about our life-giving relationship. Carol's voice is the one you hear each week introducing that day’s program.

The point of last week’s episode, as well as today’s, is to show how to have a meaningful conversation with a long-time friend while both of you are still around on this earth to answer questions you’ve always wondered about.

I mentioned this last week in the context of funerals I attended in the last year or so, and the questions I had of the deceased I never got to ask. Ask them now of your friends, before it’s too late.

We ran out of time last week, so today we’ll finish our conversation by picking up where we left off last week, with the one important question I asked Carol that she answers in today’s episode, starting now. [Read more…] about 101: Life-Giving Relationships

100: Start Conversations with Remembering

By John Certalic on April 14, 2021 4

When we start conversations with remembering shared experiences it will draw us closer to people if we ask more about those experiences.

Hello everyone, welcome to episode 100, our first triple-digit episode number!

I’ve been to 8 funerals in the last year or so, 2 virtually and the rest in person. With those I was closer to, I have questions of them that will now go unanswered because I didn’t get to ask them in time.

These questions, had they been answered, would have made my relationship with these people deeper and richer. And while we can’t do anything more with people who have passed away, we can do something now with our closer relationships, before it’s too late.

So today we’re going to listen in on a conversation I recently had with a long-time friend of mine to give you an idea of how you can have a similar conversation with one of your friends before it’s too late.

You may even be surprised by the friend I chose for this conversation. [Read more…] about 100: Start Conversations with Remembering

099: Share an Observation Instead of Asking a Question

By John Certalic on April 7, 2021 0

It’s often better to share an observation than to ask a question. It deepens a relationship by allowing people to open up on their terms.

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 99. We are just one episode away from turning over our podcast odometer to 100 episodes. I’ve got a special program planned for next week with an interesting guest lined up to join us.

But for today, as we say good-bye to double-digit episode numbers, I’ve got something for those of you who want deeper relationships with people, BUT who feel uncomfortable asking questions of others. For new listeners to the podcast, we’ve been talking in recent episodes about asking questions to deepen our relationships with people.

Before we get into this though, I want to share a few responses I received from listeners to a question I raised a few weeks ago. Namely, “What else do you do when you listen to podcasts?” Podcasts are great to listen to while doing something else, and I thought our listeners would be interested in know what that “something else” is for each of us. [Read more…] about 099: Share an Observation Instead of Asking a Question

098: The Myth of “It Never Hurts to Ask”

By John Certalic on March 31, 2021 0

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 98, The Myth of “It Never Hurts to Ask.”

In recent episodes we’ve been talking about the Ask component in our ORA principle of deepening our relationships Observe – Remember – Ask.

Last week’s episode, for example, was about that part of relational intelligence that knows how to respond when others tell you “No.”

In that episode, I suggested several gentle ways we can get what we want when told “no” by those with power over us.

I’ll have links to those recent episodes at the end of the show notes.

Today, in the context of the Ask component of ORA, I want to dispel the relational myth I used to be a strong proponent for, but no longer believe. Keep listening, because I bet many of you still believe this same myth I once believed. It's a myth that can harm your relationships. [Read more…] about 098: The Myth of “It Never Hurts to Ask”

097: Good Things Happen If We Ask Questions

By John Certalic on March 24, 2021 0

Asking questions gives us power over our circumstances. It allows us to move from being a victim to becoming an agent of change for our self.

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 97. Today we consider the good things that can come our way when we overcome our natural hesitancy to ask questions.

We’ve been talking in recent episodes about the A component of the ORA principle of deepening relationships. Observe – Remember – Ask.

Specifically, Ask in the context of interpersonal relationships, and Ask in the context of self-awareness, to Ask ourselves questions as to why we do the things we do.

But Ask is also a powerful tool in other relationships. It’s very useful in our jobs. In our parenting. And in dealing with providers of goods and services.

Keep listening to learn how. [Read more…] about 097: Good Things Happen If We Ask Questions

096: Meaningful Questions Create Meaningful Relationships

By John Certalic on March 17, 2021 0

Meaningful questions create meaningful relationships. When asked for the right reasons they connect us with one another in beautiful ways.

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 96. Today we consider how asking meaningful questions help create meaningful relationships.

We’ve been talking about the 3 components of the O.R.A. principle of deepening our relationships: Observe – Remember –Ask. We’ve touched on the Ask component before, but today I want to go into more detail about this Ask element and talk about what happens inside of us when someone asks us a meaningful question. I’ll do that by sharing two stories with you. [Read more…] about 096: Meaningful Questions Create Meaningful Relationships

095: What to Do When People Irritate Us

By John Certalic on March 10, 2021 0

When people irritate us it often reveals more about us than them. Listen in to learn how to figure this out, and then and what to do about it.

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 95.

Before we get into today’s topic I have two listener responses I thought you’d be interested in. The first is from a retired missionary in response to episode 87. This was about a New Year’s resolution to receive thank you notes in the mail from people who appreciate something about you. A written expression of gratitude is the obvious result of doing something meaningful for someone, which is the point of making this resolution – not the note itself [ read the thank you card from V.]

And here’s an email I received from Patty, another listener to our podcast. She wrote: “I received a beautiful thank you note from my snowbird neighbors thanking me for picking up their mail all winter long. I also sent a thank you card to a friend who hosted & invited me to a delicious luncheon. It's the little Thank You's that mean so much. Thx for reviving this ‘thank you' trend”

I’d like to know how this thank you note idea is going for the rest of you. Please let me know.

Well, on to today’s show. [Read more…] about 095: What to Do When People Irritate Us