Podcast

100: Start Conversations with Remembering

By John Certalic on April 14, 2021 4

When we start conversations with remembering shared experiences it will draw us closer to people if we ask more about those experiences.

Hello everyone, welcome to episode 100, our first triple-digit episode number!

I’ve been to 8 funerals in the last year or so, 2 virtually and the rest in person. With those I was closer to, I have questions of them that will now go unanswered because I didn’t get to ask them in time.

These questions, had they been answered, would have made my relationship with these people deeper and richer. And while we can’t do anything more with people who have passed away, we can do something now with our closer relationships, before it’s too late.

So today we’re going to listen in on a conversation I recently had with a long-time friend of mine to give you an idea of how you can have a similar conversation with one of your friends before it’s too late.

You may even be surprised by the friend I chose for this conversation. [Read more…] about 100: Start Conversations with Remembering

099: Share an Observation Instead of Asking a Question

By John Certalic on April 7, 2021 0

It’s often better to share an observation than to ask a question. It deepens a relationship by allowing people to open up on their terms.

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 99. We are just one episode away from turning over our podcast odometer to 100 episodes. I’ve got a special program planned for next week with an interesting guest lined up to join us.

But for today, as we say good-bye to double-digit episode numbers, I’ve got something for those of you who want deeper relationships with people, BUT who feel uncomfortable asking questions of others. For new listeners to the podcast, we’ve been talking in recent episodes about asking questions to deepen our relationships with people.

Before we get into this though, I want to share a few responses I received from listeners to a question I raised a few weeks ago. Namely, “What else do you do when you listen to podcasts?” Podcasts are great to listen to while doing something else, and I thought our listeners would be interested in know what that “something else” is for each of us. [Read more…] about 099: Share an Observation Instead of Asking a Question

098: The Myth of “It Never Hurts to Ask”

By John Certalic on March 31, 2021 0

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 98, The Myth of “It Never Hurts to Ask.”

In recent episodes we’ve been talking about the Ask component in our ORA principle of deepening our relationships Observe – Remember – Ask.

Last week’s episode, for example, was about that part of relational intelligence that knows how to respond when others tell you “No.”

In that episode, I suggested several gentle ways we can get what we want when told “no” by those with power over us.

I’ll have links to those recent episodes at the end of the show notes.

Today, in the context of the Ask component of ORA, I want to dispel the relational myth I used to be a strong proponent for, but no longer believe. Keep listening, because I bet many of you still believe this same myth I once believed. It's a myth that can harm your relationships. [Read more…] about 098: The Myth of “It Never Hurts to Ask”

097: Good Things Happen If We Ask Questions

By John Certalic on March 24, 2021 0

Asking questions gives us power over our circumstances. It allows us to move from being a victim to becoming an agent of change for our self.

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 97. Today we consider the good things that can come our way when we overcome our natural hesitancy to ask questions.

We’ve been talking in recent episodes about the A component of the ORA principle of deepening relationships. Observe – Remember – Ask.

Specifically, Ask in the context of interpersonal relationships, and Ask in the context of self-awareness, to Ask ourselves questions as to why we do the things we do.

But Ask is also a powerful tool in other relationships. It’s very useful in our jobs. In our parenting. And in dealing with providers of goods and services.

Keep listening to learn how. [Read more…] about 097: Good Things Happen If We Ask Questions

096: Meaningful Questions Create Meaningful Relationships

By John Certalic on March 17, 2021 0

Meaningful questions create meaningful relationships. When asked for the right reasons they connect us with one another in beautiful ways.

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 96. Today we consider how asking meaningful questions help create meaningful relationships.

We’ve been talking about the 3 components of the O.R.A. principle of deepening our relationships: Observe – Remember –Ask. We’ve touched on the Ask component before, but today I want to go into more detail about this Ask element and talk about what happens inside of us when someone asks us a meaningful question. I’ll do that by sharing two stories with you. [Read more…] about 096: Meaningful Questions Create Meaningful Relationships

095: What to Do When People Irritate Us

By John Certalic on March 10, 2021 0

When people irritate us it often reveals more about us than them. Listen in to learn how to figure this out, and then and what to do about it.

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 95.

Before we get into today’s topic I have two listener responses I thought you’d be interested in. The first is from a retired missionary in response to episode 87. This was about a New Year’s resolution to receive thank you notes in the mail from people who appreciate something about you. A written expression of gratitude is the obvious result of doing something meaningful for someone, which is the point of making this resolution – not the note itself [ read the thank you card from V.]

And here’s an email I received from Patty, another listener to our podcast. She wrote: “I received a beautiful thank you note from my snowbird neighbors thanking me for picking up their mail all winter long. I also sent a thank you card to a friend who hosted & invited me to a delicious luncheon. It's the little Thank You's that mean so much. Thx for reviving this ‘thank you' trend”

I’d like to know how this thank you note idea is going for the rest of you. Please let me know.

Well, on to today’s show. [Read more…] about 095: What to Do When People Irritate Us

094: Self-Awareness Deepens Our Relationships

By John Certalic on March 3, 2021 0

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 94, where today we consider how self-awareness deepens our relationships. With just 6 double-digits left before we hit 100 episodes, we’re considering a real-life application of the ORA principle of deepening relationships.

The ORA principle re-stated

In a nutshell, the ORA principle is to Observe – Remember – Ask in our interactions with others to deepen our relationships with them. We’ve been talking about this in recent shows, beginning with episode 88, Get Them to Say “Thank you for Asking.” I’ll have a link to it in the show notes.

Today we’ll apply this principle to one in the most difficult relationship each of us has. The one relationship that offers the greatest rewards, at the same time the greatest challenges. No other relationship is even close.

What’s the relationship, you ask? Keep listening and I’ll tell you. [Read more…] about 094: Self-Awareness Deepens Our Relationships

093: Remembering Deepens Our Relationships

By John Certalic on February 24, 2021 0

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 93, Remembering Deepens Our Relationships. Only 7 more programs until we reach that magic triple-digit number of 100 episodes.

And in 3 days we’ll also mark the 5th anniversary of the day my book was published, entitled THEM – The Richer Life Found in Caring for Others. Few people know this, but it was selected by Writer’s Digest as the best inspirational book of 2016. If you remember back to 2016, you may recall there was a real lack of inspiration that year, so the completion wasn’t too tough. Nevertheless, I felt honored that the book won this award.

This anniversary is inspiring me to offer the book to our listeners at 25% off the retail price, good though the end of this month. All proceeds of the sale of the book go to support our missionary care ministry, Caring for Others. Go to caringforothers.org/store to order. Be sure to enter “2016” in the Discount Coupon field.

A friend’s important question

Today I want to talk about a question a friend of mine raised several months ago in a meeting at our house. [Read more…] about 093: Remembering Deepens Our Relationships

092: 3 Benefits to Being a Keen Observer of People

By John Certalic on February 17, 2021 0

Hello everyone and welcome to today’s episode, where we pick up where we left off in episode 89, How to Be a Better Observer of People. It aired on January 27th, 2021.

To start, I’m going to share a response I received about that episode. It’s from a listener in Tennessee who wrote, “Loved this message. Really challenged me. Listening to it twice.”

The message of that episode was this: our relationships deepen as we become better observers of the important people in our life. It gives us important data for relating well with them. I expand upon how to be a keen observer of people in today's episode. [Read more…] about 092: 3 Benefits to Being a Keen Observer of People

091: Keeping Your Resolution to Do Good for Others

By John Certalic on February 10, 2021 0

How are we doing with our New Year’s resolution to do good for others? To do more for people than they do for you, to the point they thank you in writing?

Hey, thank you, Carol. Hello everyone and welcome to episode 91, Keeping Your Resolution to Do Good for Others.

We are 41 days into 2021, and I thought it would be interesting to see how we’re all doing with the one new year’s resolution we talked about in episode 87: “Make it a Relational New Year’s Resolution.” If you’re new to the podcast, you might want to go back and listen to it. It aired on January 13th. You’ll find a link to it in the show notes.

This relational resolution I spoke about was to resolve to get written “Thank You” notes from as many people as you can this year. It's to do good for others to the point people thank you in writing.

Today I want to share the results I’ve seen and heard so far. [Read more…] about 091: Keeping Your Resolution to Do Good for Others