Podcast

067: Self-Monitoring How We Listen

By John Certalic on June 3, 2020 0

Hello everyone and welcome to today’s episode, no. 67, the last one for Season Three. I’ll say more about Season Four later at the end of the show. For today, we’re here to demonstrate how better listening creates deeper relationships. We'll see how monitoring ourselves in how we listen helps transform our relationships into the best they can be.

In prior episodes I talked about listening and the role that questions play in deepening our relationships. I gave a number of examples in several stories I shared. But there’s something about seeing it demonstrated, that for a lot of us, makes it easier to understand. So that is what we’re doing in today’s show. Hopefully what you hear today will equip and inspire you to ask better questions to deepen your relationships. [Read more…] about 067: Self-Monitoring How We Listen

066: A Solution Better Than Suicide

By John Certalic on May 27, 2020 0

Hello everyone and welcome to today's episode, no. 66, where as always I’m here to help us consider ways we can find more joy in our relationships. Because after all, we were made for this.

In the past few episodes (episode 65 episode 64 episode 63 episode 62 )we’ve been considering the only two questions you need to remember in getting to know someone better. Just two questions to ask that will lead to a meaningful conversation with most anyone.

Namely, first of all asking myself “From what I know about this person, what might it be like to be them?” And secondly, asking the other person a follow-up question.

I don’t know about you, but I often learn best by seeing something demonstrated. So that’s what we’re doing in today’s program. I’m going to let you listen in on a recent conversation I had with someone to show what it’s like to stretch our curiosity muscles by asking the two questions we’ve been talking about lately: What might it be like to be them, and follow-up questions. [Read more…] about 066: A Solution Better Than Suicide

065: End With Asking This Important Question

By John Certalic on May 20, 2020 0

Asking follow-up questions is a key part of one of the greatest gifts we give someone. The gift of listening. Learn how in today's episode.

In recent episodes we’ve considered how our lack of curiosity about people keeps our relationships at a surface level. To go deeper in our relationships our curiosity deficiency can be cured with a simple vaccine: Ask – people – questions. We talked in the last few episodes about WHY we don’t ask more questions, and one explanation is that we don’t know how.

Last week’s show, no. 64, introduced the first of the two most effective questions we can ever ask in deepening our relationship with people. That question is a question we ask ourselves, which goes like this: “From what I know of the other person, what might it be like to be them?” When we ask this question, in essence trying to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes, other questions will naturally arise organically from within us we can ask. We went over that pretty thoroughly in last week’s show.

In today’s episode we’re going to consider the only other question you’ll need to remember to deepen your relationship with someone. [Read more…] about 065: End With Asking This Important Question

064: Start with this Important Question to Ask

By John Certalic on May 13, 2020 2

Hello everyone and welcome to today’s episode where today we pick up from last week's episode, no. 63

If you didn't catch last week's show, the problem we discussed is that we may want to engage with someone, but we don’t know what questions to ask to get things started.

It’s easy to say “ask more questions” to cure our CD-20, curiosity deficiency, but many times we can’t think of questions to ask. It’s especially true in relating with the quiet introverts among us.

Because we can’t think of questions to ask, many of us will default to what’s easiest, namely talking about ourselves. We look at the other person through “me colored glasses.” When someone shares an experience or thought, we jump in and share a similar thought or experience from our life. We listen to others “autobiographically” as Stephen Covey describes it.

What I have discovered, however, is there are only two questions we ever need to remember if we’re serious about engaging someone in a substantive conversation. The vaccine we need to cure us of the dreaded Curiosity Deficiency virus is just two questions to ask. [Read more…] about 064: Start with this Important Question to Ask

063: Six Reason Why We’re not More Curious About People

By John Certalic on May 6, 2020 4

Hello everyone and welcome to today’s episode, where as always, I’m here to help you find more joy in your relationships, because that’s what you were made for.

In episode 62 last week, “Vaccine Now Available for this Relational Virus,” We talked about CD-20, the curiosity deficiency virus that keeps us from deeper relationship with people. I mentioned there’s a vaccine now available – developed by the CDC, Curiosity Deficiency Council in Bismarck, ND. It’s a simple vaccine. Here it is: Ask People Questions.

Today’s episode examines 6 reasons we are not more curious about others, why we don’t take the vaccine that cures our curiosity deficiency, and the benefits we experience when we do ask people questions. Especially people close to us. [Read more…] about 063: Six Reason Why We’re not More Curious About People

062: Vaccine Now Available for this Relational Virus

By John Certalic on April 29, 2020 0

Hello everyone and welcome to today’s episode, where as always, I’m here to help us all find more joy in our relationships.

Before we get into today’s topic I want to share several responses from listeners to recent prior episodes

Two responses from Episode 59, “The Last Place You Would Ever Think to Find Joy”

Duane, a missionary in Japan
Health care worker in an assisted living facility

A response from episode 60 from last week, “One Perspective on Stay-at-Home You Probably Haven’t Heard Before” i.e., Let's make something!

Retired widowed-missionary

Now for today’s show. It’s going to be a Good News – Bad News episode.

I asked Carol what she wanted to hear first, and she said “give the bad news first.” That would be my choice, too. So I’ll share that first, and then at the end I’ll explain the good news – about the bad news, so be sure to stick around for that. [Read more…] about 062: Vaccine Now Available for this Relational Virus