Hi Reader, A few weeks ago, our daughter and son-in-law visited us, and while they were here, they helped us rejuvenate a flower bed in front of our house. As part of the process Janet and our daughter went shopping for plants at Home Depot. I had been gone elsewhere, and when I returned home I saw three hanging baskets of plants sitting near our front door that looked absolutely horrible. “Where are we going to hang these? We have no place for them,” I said to Janet. “Ask your daughter, “ she replied. “I hope you saved the receipt so we can take these back. They look terrible.” “Just ask your daughter, “ Janet once again responded. Soon our daughter Jennifer stepped outside and explained why three plants in need of hospice care were sitting on our front stoop. Where plants go to die“We saw a healthy version of these Creeping Jenny plants hanging from a rack, but I thought they were way too expensive. But then I noticed these three hanging baskets of the same plant thrown on top of a cart in a pile of dead plants, clearly destined to be thrown away into a dumpster. “They were so dried out, with brittle leaves that were actually crunchy. It was obvious they had not been watered or cared for. They looked like skeletons of the healthy plants we first saw on the rack. “So I talked to one of the sales clerks and asked if we could take these dumpster plants off his hands for no charge, as it was obvious they were going to be thrown away. It seemed to me that the store was understaffed and no one had time to water these plants. The guy I talked to said he’d have to call and check with someone about giving away these almost-dead plants on their way to the dumpster. So we waited and waited, but no one ever got back to him. The best deal around“Finally, he said, ‘No one is answering my call, so go ahead and take them. They’re yours.’ “So Dad, it didn’t cost you anything, and let’s see if we can bring them back to life. We’ll keep them here in the shade, and I’ll soak them with water, and let’s see what happens. If they come back to life, we won’t hang them in baskets, but instead let's plant them directly into the ground. These Creeping Jennys will spread and create a good ground cover.” One coincidence to this story is that as a young child we always called our daughter Jenny. But then one day when she was in grade school she announced to us that she was no longer Jenny, but was now Jennifer. So here, many decades later, we have a formerly known as Jenny trying to restore three Creeping Jenny plants. But I digress, so let’s get back to the plants and the attempts to resuscitate them. Within a few hours of being watered, the leaves started to show signs of life. They no longer looked brittle, and their color began to return. The greatest enemy of plants and relationshipsBy the next afternoon, they looked completely healthy. What an amazing transformation to watch. The photo you see that I posted is two of the three rejuvenated plants.
What it took to restore these plants back to the life they were intended to live is similar to what it takes to restore interpersonal relationships to what they were made for. For example, as with the plants, it starts with someone seeing the relationship in distress and recognizing the potential for restoration. For someone to see that while things look bleak, it didn’t have to die. It takes someone to refuse to give up on the relationship. It takes someone to take the relationship off the cart headed to the dumpster and begin to nurture what had been ignored. As with plants, the greatest enemy of relationships is neglect. Little things matterAnother similarity between these plants and struggling relationships is that often it doesn’t take much to bring things back to life. With people, it could mean time spent together. Maybe even an apology. Or a recognition that I overreacted. Maybe cutting a friend or relative some slack, and extending grace without ever mentioning how you were hurt by what they said. Simple things. Understated things. Plants can’t take care of themselves. They need help from an external source. The same is true with relationships at times. Someone to help people see what they cannot see on their own. I hope you don’t have any relationships on the way to the dumpster. But if you do, don’t give up too soon. It may just take some simple things to bring them back to life. A little figurative water and some time may restore things quicker than you think. So that’s what I have for you today. If you happened to miss last week’s podcast episode, no. 223 Christmas in July, you can listen to it when you click here. Until next time, I wish you all the joy that you can wish.* John Certalic * The Merchant of Venice, Act III, scene 2 |
Articles
“At the end of the day, nothing matters MORE than relationships.” — John Certalic
Better to Listen Than to Talk
Reader, Season 8 of our You Were Made For This podcast comes to a close today with episode #218. In it, I discuss a story in the Bible in which a man missed out because he chose to talk rather than remain quiet and let things unfold. We can learn from his mistake. It ties in with what made a friend of mine practically gasp out loud at what she saw while eating dinner at a restaurant in San Fransisco’s Chinatown. Click here to listen in. You’re going to like this one. Until next time, I wish...
The Next Time You’re Anxious Try This
Hi Reader, A few weeks ago during a Sunday morning church service we sang "The Goodness of God." Several days later I listened to the YouTube video at home. This time reading through many of the comments about the song. They were quite moving. Listening to the song soothes you like a warm blanket on a cold night during a January blizzard. Click here (or on the image above) to listen in yourself. Then read the sampling below of how the song touched people in such a deeply personal way. It most...
An Unusual Surprise From God
Hi Reader, Today’s episode of You Were Made For This, #217, finishes the story of tracking down my birth father. In it you’ll hear (or read): The odd thing he said to me when I told him I was his son What happened when my birth father showed up at a family reunion The surprising way God prompted two friends to help me get through this chapter in my life The larger relational principle from this story that applies to all of us To listen in, click here. Until next week, I wish you all the joy...
A Timely Quote From Albert Einstein
Reader, Last week’s podcast episode was the story of how I located my birth father by searching through public records and making lots of phone calls. It was using one bit of information to lead to another to another to another. Click here if you missed episode #216. I also mentioned in the episode how God orchestrated four important events in my life to all occur on April 4th, decades apart. It’s one of the most comforting things I’ve ever experienced. Albert Einstein describes it like this,...
Our Past Helps Us Understand Our Present
Reader, Today’s podcast is what its title describes, Our Past Helps Us Understand Our Present. You can listen to it on two levels.The first is the investigative work I did to locate my birth father. It was an energizing exercise to start with very limited information about him. Then overcoming various obstacles in tracking him down. More importantly, there is the role God played in guiding my search and the unusual way he used one particular day of the year, April 4th, to reveal his loving...
Searching For My Birth Father
Hi Reader, If you missed last week’s podcast episode #215 you can listen to it when you click here. I read from a section of my book, THEM about a conversation I had with my mother that began was I was ten years old, and that took 30 years to complete. It had to do with getting information from her to help me track down my birth father. Some people will think, “Why bother? It’s in the past and it’s not going to change anything.” I wish it was that simple. Historian David McCullough describes...
Finishing a 30-Year-Old Conversation
Reader, A number of years ago my friend Bill got me started down a path that eventually brought closure to a troubling part of my life. It wasn’t something he intended to do; it just happened. And It’s the subject of today’s episode, no. 215 of You Were Made For This. It’s about adult children trying to resolve an issue from their childhood with their parents. Click here to listen in. Until next week, I wish you all the joy that you can wish.* John Certalic You Were Made for This is the...
My Favorite Quote This Week
Hi Reader, I may have mentioned this before, but I think it would be fun to do a weekly podcast about interesting quotes. Quote the quote, then talk about it. For example, I recently read a book by Mary Pipher, Letters to a Young Therapist. Each chapter is a letter to the author’s niece who is a newly minted psychotherapist. As one with decades of experience in their shared profession, Pipher offers up nuggets of wisdom she’s learned along the way. I didn’t get the sense she's a person of...
Relating with People Who Don’t Talk Much
Reader, One of the things I enjoyed about writing my book THEM in 2016 was coming up with a quote to put at the top of the page for each chapter. I love it when other authors do this. Here’s the quote I found that encapsulated the theme of chapter one of the book: The older I grow, the more I listen to people who don't talk much. - Germain G. Glidden Today’s podcast episode is about how to do what the quote describes. I tell two stories from the book that give examples of putting the quote...
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