We will find more joy in our relationships when we take the time to listen to the relational melodies created by the important people in our life. Listen in to learn more.

My Legacy Coalition talk

A few days ago, this past Monday, I gave a live webinar for the Legacy Coalition, a Christian grandparenting organization. It was part of their weekly Grand Monday Nights program. I’ll have a link to this fine organization at the bottom of the show notes. They are all about helping grandparents 
have a greater spiritual impact on their families. I encourage you to check them out.

The topic of the webinar I gave was “How to Relate to Our Grandkids When they Don’t Want to Talk.” For 30 minutes or so I explained the ORA principle I’ve talked about on this podcast a number of times. My talk focused on how Observe – Reflect – Act can be used to draw out children when they’re not very communicative. I’ll have a link at the bottom of the show notes to a few prior episodes explaining the ORA concept in more detail.

I enjoyed putting that webinar together, and to top it off, I appreciated several comments shared with me by two listeners to the program. Let me tell what I learned from them that can help you in your relationships.

Two former missionaries respond

Phil, A retired missionary from Virginia texted me after the webinar to mention that ORA is, as he put it, “a good Italian word.” He and his wife Sylvia served in Italy for a number of years as missionaries. If anyone would know a “good Italian word,” it would be Phil.

He said that ORA, in Italian, means “now” or “hour.”

I love the time-sensitive nature of coupling ORA, Observe-Reflect-Act, with its Italian counterpart, “now” or “hour.” We certainly find more joy in our relationships when we live in the moment and don’t let opportunities to deepen our relationships pass us by. So thanks for stimulating my thinking, Phil with your little Italian language lesson!

And then I got another response shortly after the webinar finished. It was an email from Linda, another retired missionary, now living in North Carolina. I seem to recall that she and her late husband Jim served in Nigeria for many years.

A quote from a movie related to the webinar

Linda wrote, “As I listened to you share about O-R-A during the LEGACY COALITION webinar tonight, I thought of a quote I wrote down from a Netflix movie I recently watched called My Father’s Violin:

Every person creates their own melody. You just have to take the time to listen.

This quote from the movie stimulated thinking in all kinds of directions. What kind of melody? Are the melodies discernible, unlike the rap music sung during the recent Super Bowl halftime show? Is creating our own melody a good thing?

Can we share common melodies with each other? Are there melodies God gives us, that only seem like we created them ourselves? What melody am I creating? What melodies are you creating? All these questions. I bet if I saw the movie and heard the quote in context, my questions would be answered. Regardless, it’s a stimulating thought to consider “every person creates their own melody.”

One thing I know for sure

One thing I don’t wonder about, though, is the last part of the quote, which ties in so well with the ORA principle… “ You just have to take time to listen.” Because when we do take the time to listen to each other it does create more joy in our relationships. Of that I am certain.

So Linda, thanks for stimulating my thinking with this interesting quote, and also for the lead on the Netflix movie, My Father’s Violin. I’ll have a link to that in the show notes as well.

So what does all this mean for YOU?

How can you use what you’ve heard today to improve the relationships in YOUR life?

In the webinar from a few days ago, I made this comment near the end:

“Our grandkids may not be talking, but they’re always communicating. It’s up to us to figure out what they’re telling us.”

I’ve been thinking more about this since Monday and it certainly applies to adults as well. We’re all communicating something, even when we’re not talking.

The richest and most fulfilling relationships are those where people listen well to the unspoken. To the non-verbal. Where we listen with our eyes. With our heart. Where we listen to the melody created by others in ways that connect us more deeply with them.

Here’s the main takeaway I hope you remember from today’s episode

Listening well to the melodies people all around us are creating can bring more joy into our relationships.

I’d love to hear any thoughts you have about today’s episode.


In closing, I hope your thinking was stimulated by today’s show, to both reflect and to act by asking God to help you become a better listener to the melodies created and played by those around you.

For when you do this, it will help you find the joy of relationships God intends for you. Because after all, You Were Made for This.

That’s it for today. In the meantime, spread a little joy in your relationships this week until we meet up again next time. Goodbye for now.

Other resources you may want to check out

099: Share an Observation Instead of Asking a Question

088: Get Them to say “Thank You for Asking”

The Legacy Coalition

My Father's Violin – A Netflix movie

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